Win an Advance Reading Copy of the UK Edition of THE GRAVEYARD BOOK
Tombstones say so much, so concisely. In that one small dash between a date of birth and a date of death, a whole life has passed with just a few short words to sum up all the living. What will your epitaph say about you? Will you be fondly remembered or gleefully forgotten? Try to imagine what might be chiseled in stone on your behalf, and send us your speculation.
Give us your name, your dates, and no more than 25 words on the subject of your passing. Our favorites will be awarded their own virtual grave and headstone in a specially designed page on TheGraveyardBook.com
Here are a few samples for you…
“That’s All Folks”
~Mel Blanc
***
This stone was raised to Sarah Ford,
Not Sarah’s virtues to record–
For they’re well known to all the town–
No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.
~Sarah Ford
Kilmurry Church, Ireland
***
“Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake”
~Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
***
“As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew,
So this old world is made brighter by the lives
Of folks like you.”
~American gangster Bonnie Parker (of Bonnie and Clyde)
***
“Alien tears will fill for him
pity’s long-broken ern,
for his mourners will be outcast men,
and outcasts always mourn.”
~Oscar Wilde
***
“Murderd by a traitor and a coward whose
name is not worthy to appear here.”
~Jesse James
***
“Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.”
~In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
***
So have at it. Please leave your entries in the comment thread, and on or about July 1, we (along with various ghouls, and the ambulatory dead) will choose the winners and get Advance Reading Copies out to them pronto.
Mark Lord June 23rd, 2008 at 4:50 am
A man of talent and wit,
Writer of words sad yet funny.
Some said “a shame he didn’t see fit
To ever write a check to us for our money”.
Gavin L. O'Keefe June 23rd, 2008 at 8:17 am
Visions haunted him,
And he tried to hold them -
Music wooed him,
And he was seduced by her -
Words did charm him:
And in vain he invoked
the Visions to win
the Music and the Words.
Matt June 23rd, 2008 at 8:34 am
MKB
1960-2061
100% Recyclable Content
(cc.: Yanluo)
Rick Ollerman June 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 am
His beginning laid out
He grew into it as he came
When he was more he loved
With wife and children
There is no more.
Amy Harlib June 23rd, 2008 at 9:33 am
Epitaph for a failed life:
God made rivers
God made lakes
God made Amy
Here lies one of God’s biggest mistakes.
Amy Harlib June 23rd, 2008 at 9:36 am
By the sewer she lived,
By the sewer she died,
Some call it depression,
I call it ’sewercide’!
robin moore June 23rd, 2008 at 10:08 am
1979-1980
he was left alone to the night, and the things that go bump in it.
Daniel McNulty June 23rd, 2008 at 10:31 am
Here lies Danny Boy
for whom hallowed earth
and time
kept calling
now all above is dark and silent
against the grit and lime.
1980~2045
JJS June 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 am
Being gay, and wishing to leave a lasting irritation to those who have a problem with it, I want my name, the dates, and a rectangle taller than it is wide. There should be two circles, one above the other, in the rectangle. Beneath should be the words, “Going Up!”
Robert B. June 23rd, 2008 at 10:40 am
Robert B.
1975-2008
From beneath the ground
The motley group did rise
Seven corpses took poor Robert
Along with their army of flies
steve davidson June 23rd, 2008 at 10:49 am
1958 - ?
Well, you’ve got to start somewhere
Mike M June 23rd, 2008 at 10:51 am
He didn’t understand what “DUCK!” meant.
Lisa June 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 am
Lisa
Born 1954
Dropped Her Sword 2008
Scot Sonderman June 23rd, 2008 at 10:55 am
1964-2054
Here I lay,
First I said I was too young
Then too busy
Then to tired
What is my excuse, now?
Steven Klotz June 23rd, 2008 at 10:57 am
Steven Klotz
1978-2006
They buried the crook with his powerbook.
It’s not bad to die if you still have WiFi.
Adam Rakunas June 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 am
Adam Rakunas
1974-2075
He crossed the streams.
Jon Berghout June 23rd, 2008 at 11:14 am
1966-2031
Here lies Jon Berghout,
Never more shall he cuss.
Reading Neil Gaiman while crossing the street,
He was run over by a bus.
Jon C. Manzo June 23rd, 2008 at 11:14 am
1962-2099
In life, my mouth was always talking
Now, it’s usually shut.
But not that way for always,
As I’m only in a rut.
Nathaniel Payne June 23rd, 2008 at 11:14 am
A. Nathaniel Payne
1976 - 2052
In death, he has been given the chance to do what he never could in life: shut up.
Lynette Mejia June 23rd, 2008 at 11:34 am
1972 - 2074
Enjoy your time
From Death now free
For As I am now
So you shall be
Michelle Klishis June 23rd, 2008 at 11:39 am
Michelle Klishis
1970 -
Oops!
Stacy June 23rd, 2008 at 11:41 am
R.I.P.
Our Dear Stacy
1979-2008
Stacy was kind.
She was beautiful and just.
If only she hadn’t
Let her tongue ring rust.
Glenn Curry June 23rd, 2008 at 11:54 am
Don’t waste your time standing there talking to me. Go. Do. Be.
Shira Lipkin June 23rd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Shira Lipkin
1974 -
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Danny Chamberlin June 23rd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Danny Chamberlin
196x-204x
Born in the south
His neck, it was red
He said “look ma no hands”
and now he is dead.
Douglas Warren June 23rd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Douglas Warren
1967-2035
I’m Finally
Doing Something
For the Environment
Douglas Warren June 23rd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
1967-2012
Holy Crap!
The Mayans Were Right
Brian Buckley June 23rd, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Brian Buckley
1985-2015
Uxoricide by cyanide
He essayed on a whim -
He slipped a grain in her champagne;
She slipped a knife in him.
First try at your last words « STEVENHARTSITE June 23rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
[...] the U.K. edition of Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book? Of course you do. All you have to do is come up with the epitaph for your own tombstone. People with conventional senses of humor may find this a little [...]
Steven Hart June 23rd, 2008 at 1:01 pm
STEVEN HART
1958-2087
Looks like you missed your chance.
josh stockwell June 23rd, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Here lieth the body and remains and ashes, of one preoccupied with dots and with dashes. Morses of code and codes of Morse, his killer they say, he felt no remorse. We think of him well and well do we think, of his soul forevermore tap-tapping the brink.
Anne KG Murphy June 23rd, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Dec 4, 1974 - Sept 15, 2099
Thanks to Sken, she died happy.
Robert Reynolds June 23rd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Robert Reynolds
1959-2029
In one of life’s cosmic jokes, he was found underneath a bookcase filled with horror anthologies and collections, clutching a Charles Beaumont collection.
Cam Turner June 23rd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
1978 - 2103
Eternal life exists only in the memories of the living. So live well, lest you be forgotten, and please remember those who came before you.
James Van Pelt June 23rd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
He considered himself as prey,
Which was inevitable,
Having eaten,
To be eaten at last.
deCadmus June 23rd, 2008 at 1:52 pm
1966 - 2066
Waste not your time
In this wretched place
My bones were made ashes
And shot into space.
Ron Avitzur June 23rd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Ron doesn’t lie here anymore. He probably snuck out to go back to work.
Dave Miller June 23rd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
David Richard Miller
1967 - 2073
His Life,
Like Yours,
Was a Miracle.
Erika Amaya June 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 pm
“I’m alive and you’re all dead.”
The joke’s on you
I took Dick’s instead!
1984-2084
Dave Bessom June 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
David Edward Bessom
1979-2008
Hand-carved his own epit-
Troy Hall June 23rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
1975-2008
He couragously gave up his life so that others could mourn his passing.
Natalie Way June 23rd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
1987-2008
If only she had paid more heed
As to where she left Feces
If it wasn’t in her water dish
She might not have caught Shigellosis!
Tobias Steinhorst June 23rd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Here lie my remains
not Mark Twains
The news of his death was premature,
of mine you can be sure
D. Moonfire June 23rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Dylan R. E. Moonfire
1975-2050
Large repository of
Useless knowledge.
For a nice long chat,
Dig up
And start talking.
Matt June 23rd, 2008 at 6:08 pm
MJS
1982-2063
He’s dead, Jim.
Simon Gene 1970- ? June 23rd, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Beneath this stone, remains but worm-ridden bone. If truth be told, the molt is done, and now its time to have some fun.
Jim Steel June 23rd, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Jim Steel
1964-2009
Death cannot hold him
For he has risen
Do not look over your shoulder
He is behind you
Laura W. June 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I’ve got a bad feeling about this…..
Neil R. June 23rd, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Neil Rhodes
1975-2008
His face is ashen
His skin is mottled
The purple bruises mean he was throttled
What evil deed led to this fate?
He put his fork on another man’s plate.
Howard To June 23rd, 2008 at 7:32 pm
1971-2008
I told you I was sick.
Tim Moore June 23rd, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Tim Moore
1982-2064
Here lies Tiny Tim;
we buried him here on a whim.
To fit him in a box ten by two
his legs we had to hew.
heather June 23rd, 2008 at 8:18 pm
1969-2042
The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. It should be noted that the best location for practising this art is not the top of a twelve story building.
heather June 23rd, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Oops - too long! Please take this entry instead…
1969-2042
The art of flying is to throw yourself at the ground and miss. The best location for practising is not the Eiffel Tower.
Liz (Penkala) Liadis June 23rd, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Here Lies Liz
She got slipped a mickey,
but it wasn’t a mouse.
Liz (Penkala) Liadis June 23rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm
She got slipped a mickey,
but it wasn’t a mouse.
(Sorry, I posted again because in my previous post I put an inactive e-mail address.)
Fertanish June 23rd, 2008 at 9:11 pm
William Fertanish
1971-2008
He was born in the autumn
He was killed on the road
His life was a boring
As this cold slab of stone
Paul June 23rd, 2008 at 9:16 pm
Here Lies Paul
He Didn’t See It Coming
And Then It Hit Him
…
Blindfolded Bullfighting
Is Never a Good Idea
JulieB June 23rd, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Here lies Julie, a mom,
who worried to death…
Alan Kellogg June 23rd, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Lowered the standards for “moderately well known” conservative bloggers everywhere.
John Scalzi June 23rd, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Died with a smile on his face.
Interestingly, not HIS smile.
Gareth Jones June 23rd, 2008 at 10:27 pm
@Howard To : that’s Spike Milligan’s epitaph (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/southern_counties/3742443.stm), you cheeky thing.
Gareth Jones 1973-2008
Exercised, ate healthily. Still dead.
Steve Buchheit June 23rd, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Stephen Buchheit
d. July 1, 2008
Aged 42 Years, 2 Months, 5 Days
Well, I won’t do that again
Steve Buchheit June 24th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Stephen Buchheit
b. 04-26-66
d. 07-01-08
GET OFF MY LAWN!
Chris Green June 24th, 2008 at 1:42 am
Christopher Green
1976-2008-2010
At 6 Feet
Buried Standing,
But Not To Save Space
His 7 Foot
Rigor Mortis,
An Eternal Disgrace
“Buried Twice
This Time Successfully!”
Shane Nixon June 24th, 2008 at 4:10 am
Shane Nixon
1964 - 2164
ROFLMAO
BTW WTF?
L8R
Dave Agnew June 24th, 2008 at 4:29 am
Ouch.
Susanne June 24th, 2008 at 5:00 am
1765-1838
Here lies Susanne.
Finally.
1845-1880
Here lies Susanne.
Hopefully.
1887-1953
Here lies Sus—
DAMMIT!
1975-2067
Here lie—
ARRRRGH.
2085-2176
This time we used a stake.
Meg Jones June 24th, 2008 at 5:20 am
Meg Jones
1988 - 2008
She didn’t eat meat
That walked on four legs
And was never caught dead wearing fur,
So maybe that’s why,
The pescatarian should die
When a fish with large teeth ate her.
Allen Pict June 24th, 2008 at 5:36 am
1982-2043
Here lies Allen Pict
Because his wife took exception to him lying elsewhere.
Alan Kellogg June 24th, 2008 at 7:00 am
They stabbed him
We slabbed him
Pug June 24th, 2008 at 7:06 am
A sailor on the water of life has run around
The wreck a warning to all of shifting ground
Stephanie June 24th, 2008 at 7:12 am
Stephanie Matteson
1964 - 2***
Many mistakes
in life did she make.
No regrets
from this life will she take.
Alys June 24th, 2008 at 7:43 am
1 August 1881 - 7 December 1981
Only Sleeping
Win A Neil Gaiman ARC « The Struggling Writer June 24th, 2008 at 9:12 am
[...] novel The Graveyard Book? Well, they are having a contest and all you have to do is write the epitaph for your gravestone. The winning entry will receive an advance reading copy of The Graveyard [...]
Taylor June 24th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Taylor C ~
1986 - 1900
The Lone Victim of Y2K
Maggie Evans June 24th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Margaret Evans
1962 …
Poor Maggie was told
“don’t procrastinate”
So took the bull by the horns
- and is now late
NicoleW June 24th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Nicole
1968-2067
Behold and see, all that pass by;
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so you will be.
Nyah nyah!
Shane Nixon June 24th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Shane Nixon
1964 - 2536
Well that got your attention…
Steven Novick D.D.S. June 24th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Steven Novick D.D.S.
December 1960-January 2099
“In life he suffered
tortured dreams
and moaned his fate.
But all the joys
wished for were there,
and now he sees
too late.”
Sarah Heacox June 24th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Here Lies Sarah
Expired While Skiin’
Should’ve Picked a Path
That There Wasn’t A Tree In
Steve June 24th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
I’m dead
and you’re not
….yet
Maggie Evans June 24th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Sorry - I know I shouldn’t send twice but this just sounds better (I knew I should have procrastinated!)
Poor Maggie was told
Don’t procrastinate
Took the bull by the horns
Now she’s late
(better?)
gary June 24th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Finally
Stephen D. Covey June 24th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Steve
1949 - 2049
Wow. Here’s my body.
If I’d realized how uplifting
corporal death could be, I’d have had
it done years ago.
See you at the party!
Ryan T. Riddle June 24th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Our lives are like novels on a typewriter, always in flux until those two final words: “The End.”
Charles Tan June 24th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
His words will live on forever
On the Internet.
Chris Hawley June 24th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
+ 1959 · Christopher · † 2014
YOU MAY NOW CALL ME HAPPY
Charles P. Hashem June 24th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
Charles P. Hashem
1986~2008
Here lies a man with his guide,
a loving hound beside.
Come day many birds they gave chase,
together now, in a timelessly bright place.
Elizabeth Rose June 24th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Beneath this crippled stone
rests a soul who
waltzed with humanity,
painted the wind,
touched time,
And mingled with eternity.
StevenC June 24th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Always wondered what that button was for.
Georgina Souter June 25th, 2008 at 12:13 am
Georgina Souter
1960-2070
Too quiet. Too long.
Greg Carere June 25th, 2008 at 1:03 am
Here lies Greg Carere,
but not for long.
Go quickly.
He is already on his way back up.
Greg Carere June 25th, 2008 at 1:04 am
Greg Carere
1985-2008
It was, all of it, worth it.
Patricia Marie Lafayllve June 25th, 2008 at 2:43 am
We never know what the afterlife brings
Until it is too late.
Patty knows first, for here she lies -
what an ironic twist of fate.
J Talbot June 25th, 2008 at 2:47 am
J Talbot
1986 - 2026
When the world has ended, wake me up!
And I shall tell you a story
of when everything was new.
Alan C. June 25th, 2008 at 2:49 am
Alan Caum
1983 - 2057
He filled his youth with histories,
With knights and crowns and kings;
And now he lies at common ease,
Content with smaller things.
Alan C. June 25th, 2008 at 2:55 am
Alan Caum
1983-2062
Read elsewhere of his life,
his deeds, his loves.
Here is only the proof
that once he lived,
and that what you read
is true.
Jim Grayson June 25th, 2008 at 3:00 am
1976-2013
It was pitch black.
He was eaten by a grue.
Jim Grayson June 25th, 2008 at 3:04 am
In lieu of flowers please leave whiskey.
Open, please.
Dead hands are crap with a bottle-top.
Foz Meadows June 25th, 2008 at 3:10 am
No Queen of the Sea nor Inca Lord
but maybe Kip’ wrote true:
the red Earth rolls, and it could be
that who lies here that once was Me
came back again as You.
Roslyn Hirst June 25th, 2008 at 3:16 am
R. Hirst, 1986-2010
There once was a young girl called Ros,
She lies here before you because,
One day in the libr’y,
While whining quite glibly,
Was struck with the shorter Oxford’s.
Robson June 25th, 2008 at 3:17 am
Are you sitting comfortably? Then let me begin…
Daniel Schreiber June 25th, 2008 at 3:17 am
I can see up your dress.
Samantha Straus June 25th, 2008 at 3:22 am
Samantha Straus
1987-2008
Today, for a copy of Neil Gaiman’s new book,
This young woman beneath, her own life she took.
A sad ending for a life only just begun,
When all came to a close, she could not be outdone.
And yet, in her great haste, she did not think ahead,
For how can one read when one is certified dead?
Keiron Nicholson June 25th, 2008 at 3:29 am
Keiron Nicholson
1984-2008
Dirt writhes
‘neath blackened tree
Worms scream
and turn to flee
He’s alive!
awake!
and he’s still talking
about 1980s Doctor Who
- Woe is thee.
Write your own epitaph… « good meeting June 25th, 2008 at 3:33 am
[...] your own epitaph… …and win an advance copy of The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman, one of Britain’s finest [...]
A. Blythe June 25th, 2008 at 3:43 am
A. Blythe
1985 - 2008
Because she could not
Stop for Death.
Nor the city bus.
Caroline June 25th, 2008 at 3:45 am
“Returned unopened”
Jim Edwards June 25th, 2008 at 4:07 am
And it was all going so well..
Nicky Hampton June 25th, 2008 at 4:08 am
Look behind you!
Chloe Yates June 25th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Here lies Chloe,
Recalcitrant to the last
They nailed the lid down fast
1973-2259
Scott June 25th, 2008 at 4:31 am
Commonfolk often made a big to-do
Over Scott’s near-omnipotent juju
He took a long fall
On his own voodoo doll
And sustained one helluva booboo.
Saoirse June 25th, 2008 at 4:36 am
1993- 2009
A solipsist, her death was that of all certainty.
Marcy Gaston June 25th, 2008 at 4:39 am
Marcy Gaston
1946 - 2046
Here lies Marcy with her beloved Mac
(Just in case the afterlife is a Windows environment!)
Linda Harju June 25th, 2008 at 4:52 am
Linda Harju
1984-2008
Apparently you can eat too much chocolate.
Chris June 25th, 2008 at 4:57 am
1971-2077
He had a good innings
But should have ducked that bouncer
Annemarieke van Spanje June 25th, 2008 at 4:58 am
1982-2008
In fantasy she fled;
Angels to uplift her,
Devils to forgive her,
But still she lies here dead.
R. Ganz June 25th, 2008 at 5:16 am
Here lies the body of Rachel Ganz
Who has finally concluded her do… while loop
And exited gracefully
Lyndon June 25th, 2008 at 5:21 am
Never up in the morning,
Never there for the meeting.
The coffin got left at the parlour…
He was late for his own funeral.
Matt Badham June 25th, 2008 at 5:22 am
1974 - 2233
You’re joking! I only just got here.
Tony Blair June 25th, 2008 at 5:36 am
Here Lies Tony Blair.
(He lied here at home, and he lied over there)
Lyndon June 25th, 2008 at 5:38 am
Lyndon
1990 - 2014
You know when you’re mum said ‘you’ll catch your death?’
It’s not just an expression…
Lyndon June 25th, 2008 at 5:39 am
Lyndon
1990 - 2077
Go on without me. I’ll catch up.
Adrian Culley June 25th, 2008 at 5:41 am
Adrian Culley
1968-2048
Lived his lifetime,
Breathed his last breath.
Make sure you believe
in Life before Death!
Lyndon June 25th, 2008 at 5:42 am
Lyndon
1990 - 2077
Who’s the earth going to revolve around now?
(With Thanks to Tim Minchin)
Nick Bryan June 25th, 2008 at 5:46 am
Here lies Nick Bryan
Pure of heart, will of iron
Words of gold, touch of fire
Lovely chap, compulsive liar
Gwin June 25th, 2008 at 5:49 am
Here lies among the hopes, regrets
the one that buried them in night.
And now rejoined,
by breathing too much cigarettes,
she too is muffled out of sight.
John Hill June 25th, 2008 at 5:49 am
1982 - 1498
Dear mom, if you should see this: forgot fuel for time machine. I know. You told me so. Could you please come pick me up?
HPu June 25th, 2008 at 5:58 am
HPu June 25th, 2008 at 5:59 am
“”
Ciska June 25th, 2008 at 6:06 am
Don’t just stand there,
Read to her.
And leave the book!
Ciska June 25th, 2008 at 6:12 am
Wow… it really IS bigger on the inside…
kalafudra June 25th, 2008 at 6:23 am
I knew it would come to this.
Sylvia June 25th, 2008 at 6:38 am
I’d like to thank my mother and my father
without whom
none of this would have happened…
Nikki June 25th, 2008 at 6:38 am
Nikki
1989 - ?
“In life, she was always getting distrac
Benjamin June 25th, 2008 at 6:50 am
1986 - 1754
No, I didn’t travel in time
Or age backwards
Just… don’t ask
People always ask
It’s complicated
Fliss June 25th, 2008 at 7:19 am
Here lies Fliss
1977 - 3001
May be forgotten, but probably not gone
Kathy Wormhoudt June 25th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Kathy Wormhoudt
1978-2070
Curiosity killed the Kat.
Thank God. She would have hated to die of boredom.
Futár András June 25th, 2008 at 7:32 am
lo and behold! it’s Death
dark and fair
and a writer, bright
entangled in her hair
but where are thou heart?
the truth lies there
Claire Weaver June 25th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Claire Weaver:
Buried Alive
Brandi June 25th, 2008 at 7:50 am
1983-2007
Finally finished something.
K Green June 25th, 2008 at 7:51 am
That scratching sound is in your head,
Not still alive, I’m really dead
I’m in a box, I’m underground,
I’m mouldy bones (don’t turn around).
K Green June 25th, 2008 at 7:54 am
Buckets: Kicked
Mortal Coils: Shuffled Off
Daisies: Pushed Up
Dust: Bitten
Chris Johnson June 25th, 2008 at 7:56 am
Chris Johnson
1985-2008
This body isnt dead,
its growing,
and one day this stone will be gone.
And people will picnic under my arms.
Brandi June 25th, 2008 at 7:57 am
1983-2007
Uneventfully alive.
Uneventfully dead.
H Neumann June 25th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Trampled by yaks.
Pierre Liebenberg June 25th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Pierre Liebenberg
1981 - 2008
Jesus, we’re glad he’s gone.
Red Hawkins June 25th, 2008 at 8:06 am
BUMMER (still, a Grave Matter):
Shoot em in the Head, Dude. Not the Balls. Not the foot. The Head. Trust me, with Zombies, the Balls just don’t work. I learned this the hard way.
Chris Johnson June 25th, 2008 at 8:07 am
I lived my life messy,
don’t bother trimming the grass.
Death’s too late to change,
the habits of a lifetime.
Chris Johnson June 25th, 2008 at 8:08 am
“I had a fall,
I broke my head…
please don’t me that I’m…”
Gabriele Hackl June 25th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Gabby
1971 - 2005
Done Bun Can’t Be Undone.
Dave Evans June 25th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Dave Evans 1961 - Ad Infinitum, not!
“An aspiring author lies nears this spot,
He lost his life,
We lost his plot.”
Dave Evans June 25th, 2008 at 8:20 am
Dave Evans 1961 - Ad Infinitum, not!
“An aspiring author lies near this spot,
He lost his life,
We lost his plot.”
Sorry for double post, edited for typo.
Alicia Sullivan June 25th, 2008 at 8:21 am
A loving heart never sleeps,
Even in death it is not gone.
So weep not, my dearest loves,
For the wind still carries my song.
Reinhard June 25th, 2008 at 8:27 am
2 December 1991 - 3 December 1991
SH*T HAPPENS.
Karl H. June 25th, 2008 at 8:36 am
THE AFTERLIFE, TEXAS-STYLE:
NO TRESSPASSING ON THIS GRAVE. VIOLATORS WILL BE HAUNTED.
Lavinia Morgan June 25th, 2008 at 8:44 am
Timmy and I
went to a picnic.
I brought cupcakes.
He brought arsenic.
Dan Maharry June 25th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Create(Dan);
Dan.Live();
Close(Dan);
Asli Tumerkan June 25th, 2008 at 8:59 am
1987-2077
Won a free copy of the Graveyard Book on 01.07.2008.
Chris Collins June 25th, 2008 at 9:08 am
C Collins
1980 - 2053
These are the only words he ever managed to get published. Thank God for Editors.
Jon Marvin June 25th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Look! What the hell is t…
Alex Grigg June 25th, 2008 at 9:24 am
1977-1901
The past ain’t that cheery,
The future ain’t that bright,
But YOUR present looks better
Than my current plight.
Katharine Duckett June 25th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Katharine Duckett
b. 1791 d. 2008
Her last act was to momentarily baffle people reading the dates on her tombstone. Take that, the living!
Katrin&Daniel June 25th, 2008 at 9:38 am
[the following struck-out but readable]
Katrin Hoffmann
1981-20
[and below it]
Daniel Boettger
1979-2056
Inscriber of Gravestones
Should Have Attached This One More Carefully
Lauren June 25th, 2008 at 10:04 am
B. 1984 D. 2042
She gave us stars that laugh
And made the essential visible.
Carey Nadeau June 25th, 2008 at 10:11 am
oops.
Mariana June 25th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Here lie the remnants of Mar
a woman by her own right
who could not be convinced that death
was something entirely else otherwise
Amy Nichols June 25th, 2008 at 10:19 am
Here lies Amy. She did one thing every day that scared her.
Shame about that last one.
Raymond Conlon June 25th, 2008 at 10:36 am
He Had Big Toes
Shelly June 25th, 2008 at 10:41 am
Like a star in the night
This tombstone glows.
I’d step back if I were you.
And burn all my clothes.
————————-
Anne Grieve June 25th, 2008 at 10:42 am
Here lies the body of our Anne
Done to death by a banana
It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Laura Martinelli June 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
A life is a terrible thing to waste; death, on the other hand, may linger ’til we rot.
Eric June 25th, 2008 at 10:55 am
He told truth in life, now he lies for eternity.
Jennifer Gabor June 25th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Behold, the lovely Jenny Gabor
She stripped for a musical score
She shook and she shimmied
For one bad Jimmy
Also known as the Butcher of Whores
Anthony June 25th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Never considered for mass production.
Victoria Griesdoorn June 25th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Our beloved daughter
Isabelle Ratbone
1993 – 2008
Always busy
could never get through
Now you want your chance with Izzy
good luck to you
Nancy Gross June 25th, 2008 at 11:32 am
On the whole, I’d rather be in the TARDIS.
Jill McKnight June 25th, 2008 at 11:38 am
See, I TOLD you I was sick.
Shona June 25th, 2008 at 11:39 am
1987-?
You with the bottle! Yes, you. What *exactly* do you think you’re doing drinking in a graveyard? You are *so* getting haunted.
Unknown June 25th, 2008 at 11:40 am
4027 B.C. - 4001 B.C.
Dead I, in tween of roots, and death is like shit by tree.
Laura June 25th, 2008 at 11:47 am
Laura J. Buller
“It was a good idea at the time”
Peri Blomquist June 25th, 2008 at 11:56 am
1989 - 2088
“Peri Fae Blomquist
Born squeaky clean
Grew old till she died
And lived in-between”
Matthew Guzdial June 25th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Well, at least that’s over.
L. Winfrey June 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Here lies a reader who will miss her books
So dearly in the dark, she dares to plead
Of you who may pass by or linger here,
Take pity – leave her something good to read.
Kenny Park June 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Here lies Kenneth James Park.
Forever late.
Giles June 25th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
That is not dead
Which can eternal lie
But as I could not
I felt obliged to die.
Christina Fierro June 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Christina Fierro
1977-20XX
Champion procrastinator finally retires.
Apparently not everything can wait until tomorrow.
Matt Holt June 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
1984-2008
He was a man like no other, thats why he had to die.
Alessia De Gaspari June 25th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
1985-2073
Here her body lays,
Here her spirit wanders;
For souls can be at times
more haunted than graveyards.
G.S. June 25th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
First she came, and then she stayed,
And finally she left:
Sound of body, sound of mind,
And yet, of soul bereft.
Delia June 25th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Delia Remington
1970-2008
Curiosity killed her-
Sad she’s not a cat
Elliott Blackwell June 25th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Thanks for visiting. Please forgive me for not getting up.
Rene June 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
1975 - 20xx
Her life is finished.
She’s left her mark,
But only just
Begun her ARC.
naomi June 25th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
1949-?
So many books
So little time
Kaethe June 25th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Love you
Bye-bye!
Jas. Marshall June 25th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
1901 - 2000
A Twentieth Century Man
Whose Time Ran Out
Grimur June 25th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
BRB
P. Lyons June 25th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
1970-2062
In life, her virgin state
Heavy on her weighed;
Although she died without a mate:
At least she’s finally laid.
Parul June 25th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Here I am, six feet under
Nevermore is this death a wonder
I am at peace from my life above
Soaring! Soaring! Like white dove!
Grimur June 25th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Ooops, sorry:
Grimur Hjorleifsson
1982-2008
BRB
Ulrik Hansen June 25th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
1982-2035
With the moon and my shadow, we are three.
Mara June 25th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
M.M. Hampson.
1985-2008
Hanged by mistake.
Graham Roche June 25th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Graham Roche
1982 - 20xx
Finally Immortal
Cortney Rogers June 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
They told me once,
and I forgot.
They told me twice,
and now I rot.
Grimur June 25th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Grimur
1982-1736
Victim of causal structure
Cortney Rogers June 25th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Ooops, forgot name & date!
Cortney Rogers
1990 - 2091
They told me once,
and I forgot.
They told me twice,
and now I rot.
Samuel VanDyke June 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Damn, that was quick!
Robin Nyström June 25th, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Robin Nyström
1987-2098
I see a light
at the end of the tunnel.
If I have to guess,
I’d say it’s a flashlight.
Graham Roche June 25th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Graham Roche
1982 - 20xx
I had the time of my life
but i could not handle the high cost of living
Ken June 25th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
When he said his wife was his reason for living
He wasn’t kidding
Katherine Bolt June 25th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Here lies Katherine Bolt.
1979-2069
Died peacefully in her . . . . .
Oh my God!! What’s that . . .
Whatever you do Don’t Look Behind You!!!
Ha Ha . . . . . . Betcha looked!!
Kit Pleasant June 25th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
She wrote her own grave’s epitaph
To win a Gaiman tale
The verse she wrote too good to waste,
she stepped on the third rail.
James Fearnley June 25th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Less than half his dreams fulfilled,
Less than half the sights unseen,
But for brief, glorious moments he stood
on mountains and saw the world before him,
And smiled that he had truly lived.
Helga June 25th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Plant here an apple tree
Then eat of my flesh
And drink of my soul
Recall me with fond memory
summon me thrice thus
but only in direst need
To free me might enslave thee
Helga June 25th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Edited to 25 words - that does take the drama out to see it twice!
Plant here an apple tree
Eat of my flesh
Drink of my soul
summon me thrice
only in direst need
Freeing me might enslave thee
Mara June 25th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
M. Marie Hampson
1985-2040
A lover of food, she died at the table. She has gone on to a different sort of banquet.
Cullen Lee June 25th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Cullen Lee
1989 - 2xxx
I’m With Stupid
Mara June 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Mara H.
1985-1992
Weep, stranger, for at the age of seven,
Little Mara has gone on to Heaven.
Cheer up stranger, who can tell:
Mara may have gone to hell.
Mara June 25th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
M. M. H.
1985-2050
I heard there was a vacancy.
Mara June 25th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Mara M. Hampson
1985-2020
Her dreams will lie, ripening like sweet fruit, until the final harvest.
Emily June 25th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
While all but she
Feared for her life,
She thought she’d be forgotten.
Bea June 25th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Once I wasn’t
Then I was
Now I ain’t again.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Here lies Joseph Paquin
1972 - 1994
Undone by Love
And blind faith
In Humanity,
As he was in life
And now in death,
A native soul.
steven d June 25th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Here he lies; if only we could find him.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
He was a living dead in life,
May he be dead-living in death.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Joe Paquin
1866 – 1880
Told a last joke
Ere he died
Unheard punch line
He choked
Death got last laugh
Terry S. June 25th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Terry James
1980-2xxx
He lived; more or less.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Beware of this grave,where no maggotsshall feastbut your soulshall be devouredby this unrestedsoul.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Afeared of death
All his life.
Now afeared of eterity
In Death.
Parker Lindstrom June 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Here lies a man
known not by word nor deed.
His only lament
is for books he did not read.
Orion Z. June 25th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Orion Zangara
1988-2008
Always curious what it felt like to be nailed shut in a coffin, the worms gnawing away at my flesh. Now, I’m not so curious.
Parker Lindstrom June 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Whoops.
I forgot to post my dates.
1980-2045.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Always a bully
To the living and
The dead.
We shall miss
Look of your face
in torturous Hell.
John June 25th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
John
1985-20xx
I’m not dead yet.
Ian Brownlie June 25th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
“Goodbye taxes!”
Ian Brownlie - Optimist
1973 - 2008
L. Smith June 25th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Death won
(It was Professor Plum)
Ian Brownlie June 25th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
“My other casket is a Batesville”
Ian Brownlie
1973 - 2008
Shana Jean Hausman June 25th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Shana Jean Hausman
1990-2008
Jumped into radioactive waste during a thunderstorm.
Didn’t develop superpowers.
Sonia Jimenez June 25th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Sonia Jimenez 1968-2008
Hmmmm ….. that’s it then, huh? Oh well. On to the next great adventure!
Ian Brownlie June 25th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
“I’m fine…everything is o.k.,
nothing to see here…No, I would
not say that is a lot of blood…
Is that unicorn wearing leg-warmers?”
Famous Last Words
Ian Brownlie
1973 - 2008
Stephen Kenneally June 25th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
unformed hopes and dreams
beat their wings against the sky
an infinite cage
Stephen Kenneally June 25th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
(Forgot dates - apologies)
Stephen Kenneally
1987-2008
Phill Warren June 25th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
In tiny letters :
‘Creep close to where I lie interred,
I creep behind cruel and unheard.’
Phill Warren June 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Whoops forgot the dates!
Phill Warren
1971 - 2075
Isabel Lopez June 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Isabel Lopez
1990 - 2008
“Ungrateful World,
Start erecting statues,
Singing songs,
Hiding colored eggs in my glory,
For you owe me big.”
PS: All those gay pornos weren’t mine.
Isabel S. June 25th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Isabel
1708-1745
1763-1834
1852-1901
1956-2008
Curiosity kills the cat, but satisfaction brings her back-
you might want to step off the grave.
Laurie June 25th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Laurie Hayes
1985-2012
It was here they planted me
in hopes I would take root;
my bones shall grow into a tree
bearing sweet bloodfruit.
Laurie June 25th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
LH
1985-2512
She traded her immortal soul for the time to learn all things. She is discovering the last one now.
Benjamin Biggs June 25th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Benjamin Biggs
1982 - - > 2045
Despite a life of sadness and pain,
trouble was caught in his writing,
allowing only hope to escape.
Slade Powell June 25th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Died saving her family from a destroyed, sinking battleship.
Becky Schneider June 25th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Becky lived inside her head.
Now some worms live there instead.
Fawn LaRoche June 25th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Fawndolyn
1981 - 2026
What I was
You are now.
What I am
Soon shall you be.
Charles Miller June 25th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Charles Miller
1970 - 2027
This here spot
would contain Charles,
if that there pot
Did not.
Tom B. June 25th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Here Lies
Tom
1977-2076
Happy that, chiseled in stone,
he finally gets the last word.
Mason’s note:
That idiot’s check bounced.
Last word, my arse.
Laurie June 25th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Laurie Hayes
She lived her life as though it were a novel.
R. Holbach June 25th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
(1982 - 2008)
His passing mourned most grievously
by Natwest, Barclays and the Halifax
here lies, overdrawn mischievously,
the latest son of the Holbachs.
Mark Denton June 25th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
With pen and paper he made his bed
And now he has ample chance
To lie in it.
Mark Denton June 25th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
oops forgot the dates!
1972 - 2073
With pen and paper he made his bed
And now he has ample chance
To lie in it.
cs June 25th, 2008 at 5:03 pm
many times she lost her way,
found her place at the worm buffet.
Jacquelyn Ross June 25th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Unusually restless
And feeling quite antsy
She went double-or-nothing
With old Mr. Nancy
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
Here lies Count Joseph Paquin
Born 1972 Deceased 1994
Buried after beheading
and stake in heart 2008
Lauren A. Stein June 25th, 2008 at 5:20 pm
(1987 - 2087)
We could all use a rest
At the end of a long day.
Thank you for tucking me in
And wishing me goodnight.
Jacquelyn Ross June 25th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
1972 - 2074
Unusually restless
And feeling quite antsy
She went double-or-nothing
With old Mr. Nancy
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Joseph Paquin
1972 – 2012
He lived by the Mayan calendar
And died as the cycle ends
By own hand.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Joseph Paquin
1972-2008
Avid book reader
And collector of rare books
Killed by paper cuts
And overdose of words.
Jim Vowles June 25th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
1970-2008
I said to Death, please can’t I wait?
I’m not ready yet, please hesitate!
My kitties need their food — it’s late
And I’m not even thirty-eight!
Death said to me, “Stay if you must
Prolong your day of dust-to-dust
But even iron has to rust
You’ll be around, but only just.”
His words, considered, brought me low
And I agreed, at last, ’twas so
And at long last, I deigned to go
Where lies where we’re meant to know.
And so I’m gone; my days are past
No lingering wait — I went quite fast
And though my body’s worm’s repast
I think I’m ready now, at last.
marta June 25th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
This Gentle Reader, she did find
that too much reading makes one blind.
Too much reading she did learn
gives hellfire more to burn
Too much reading she did know
gives the earth a world to grow.
Too much reading she failed to fear
and that is what did lead her here.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Joseph Paquin
1972-2009
Lover of nature and animals
Poet of the wild
Protector of the endangered
Died from poisonous snakebite.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
Joseph Paquin
1972-2009
An Avid adventurer
Lover of life
Devouring every moments of it.
Now he walks into the wild.
The undiscovered country.
Tamsyn Kennedy June 25th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Lightbulbs die, Tamsyn has merely departed.
Traipsing off the Path and into the Dead « writing in the water June 25th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
[...] this nonsense is to say that I wrote my epitaph thanks to this headstone contest. And I’m a sucker for a time waster–whatever form it comes [...]
Patrick Spedding June 25th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Patrick Spedding
19**–20**
Still Dead
Opal Skye June 25th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Died as she lived, naturally.
Crow June 25th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Crow
1960-2071
100% Post-Consumer Waste
Crow June 25th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Crow
1960-2071
It’s quiet . . . too qui–
Scott June 25th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Adding dates, if that’s necessary:
Scott
1980 - 2075
Commonfolk often made a big to-do
Over Scott’s near-omnipotent juju
He took a long fall
On his own voodoo doll
And sustained one helluva booboo.
Robbie June 25th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Here lies Dear Robbie
Too late – Too soon
Buried at his insistence as the crow flies
We shall not need a bigger boat
Stephen Dressler June 25th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
1969 - 2000
Could have been great
Should have been great
Would have been great
Too Late!
Steve June 25th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
He tried.
Stephen Dressler June 25th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
I’d like to be remembered
for the good things I had done.
Good things like my marriage,
my daughters and my son.
Joseph Paquin June 25th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Joseph Paquin
2008-2140
beloved husband and loving Father
Unique Wizard who
met untimely end
by living backward
Lord Sepulchrave June 25th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
It was Himself
In the Tower of Flints
With the Owls
Patrick Spedding June 25th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Patrick Spedding
19**–20**
This is not an epitaph
Patrick Spedding June 25th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Patrick Spedding
Patrick Spedding June 25th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
The form of my previous epitaph was stripped out of my last offering, which was faux HTML code for “life”. I will try again, this time spelling it out]
[less-than sign]life[greater-than sign]Patrick Spedding[less-than sign]/life[greater-than sign]
[Jokes are *so* much more amusing if you don't have to explain them]
Teresa Lee June 25th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
Teresa Lee
19**-20**
Physically slow but mentally quick,
She never stopped until she was stopped.
Kim June 25th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Kimberly Hoskinson
1979-2010
I miss you, too.
You’re doing just fine.
Now go be wonderful.
Patricia June 25th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
And now I am a carbonaceous inclusion.
Dave Forman June 25th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
Dave Forman
1984-2045
It is said that great men
Don’t die, they live on forever
In our memories. we can
Only hope
That this tombstone can serve as a reminder about how we really felt about him.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Dick Crabbe
1954-2008
Thoroughly unpleasant in life,
Made repentant with the edge of a knife.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
George W. Rash
1956-2010
Good riddance.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
It was Colonel Mustard in the study with a candlestick.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Done in by ennui.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Back in 5 minutes.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
See you soon.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Mind that bus.
What bus?
Splat.
Maria Demetris June 25th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Best by: 11/10/33
Bianca C. June 25th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
1987-2008
Lived her life.
Go live yours.
H. McEachern June 25th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Mrs. H. McEachern
~1981-2074~
Rust lies in her feet,
weak and bare,
the iron gone.
Wendy June 25th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
She never was very good at chess.
Alden June 25th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
1988-20xx
Deader than thou
Alden June 25th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
I can has postmortem ectoplasmic manifestation?
Alden June 25th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
1988-20xx
Always lived it up, until it finally lived her down.
Reba June 26th, 2008 at 12:07 am
1963-2058
We do not get to know
if there is an afterlife
until the party is over.
Now she knows.
Or doesn’t.
Lauren June 26th, 2008 at 12:44 am
L. N. Mason
1985-2008
So, safety scissors?
As it turns out, not so safe.
Kandace June 26th, 2008 at 12:54 am
Kandace Horton
1982-2082
The Good Die Young.
Kayla C. June 26th, 2008 at 1:04 am
Dear Life,
We had a good run;
Thanks for the laugh!
Kayla
marta June 26th, 2008 at 2:11 am
1968-2066
Here she lies in deconstruction
for she could not follow plain instruction.
(Yes, yes, yes, early submission–no date and too many words.)
Cathy Lopez June 26th, 2008 at 3:06 am
In case of zombie attack, do as I said, not as I did.
Cathy Lopez June 26th, 2008 at 3:08 am
D’oh… I lose at reading comprehension…
Cathy Lopez
1980-2053
In case of zombie attack:
Do as I say, not as I did.
Rachel B. June 26th, 2008 at 3:11 am
1988-2008
Grieve not for young Rachel
O ye that pass her by
She’s bathing in spaghetti
In that pasta in the sky.
Rachel Ganz June 26th, 2008 at 5:22 am
Rachel Ganz
1960 - 2008
This epitaph is carved
For the engraved deceased
Ranoj Kurukulasuriya June 26th, 2008 at 5:24 am
Love.R
Gary Thomas June 26th, 2008 at 5:49 am
Gary Thomas
1971 - 2071
Our goldfish lamentably ended its life
Mistakenly flushed away by my wife
It’s haunted our bog since 2003
Hope it’s not the same for me
Chris Mills June 26th, 2008 at 6:07 am
1971 - 2071
Why do I get the feeling that I’ve forgotten to do something?
Shelly June 26th, 2008 at 6:44 am
I too failed to read, completely, the entry requirements: so again.
————————
Shelly C
b.1983-d.(we assume)2050
Like a star in the night
This tombstone glows.
I’d step back if I were you,
and burn all my clothes.
————————-
Radek S. June 26th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Radek S.
1987-2050
What is that inside?
It’s a grave worm, I replied…
Like the one in Mezcal is?
Yup, but it’s called a grave ale,
cheers!
Nige June 26th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Don’t even think about stealing my flowers…I WILL haunt you…
SGT Benjamin Rothman June 26th, 2008 at 9:03 am
1972-2012
The bullet didn’t have his his name on it;
It simply said;
“Occupant.”
Chris June 26th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Christine Kite
1976-2036
Now paler than ever!
Chris June 26th, 2008 at 10:03 am
Christine Kite: Dead and In Person
Showtimes: 2:20,4:40, 7:05, 9:20
First Show Matinee
Student Rush $10
Open Ended Run
Gabor June 26th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Gabor wrote a number of dark stories. Boo!
…and he is now standing right behind you.
1974-ca.3300BC
Gabor June 26th, 2008 at 11:02 am
This is an automated message, set on replay.
I’m out of the office till Resurrection Day.
Gabor
1974-ca.3300BC
Shaughnessy Brookes June 26th, 2008 at 11:20 am
Straight but not narrow
Bent but not mad
Now she’s not with us
The world is quite sad
Shaughnessy Brookes June 26th, 2008 at 11:21 am
All the world’s a stage
And all the men and women merely players
I hope my exit was grander than my entrance
sír/vers « under:cover June 26th, 2008 at 11:25 am
[...] hozzászólások Komavárynak hála megtudtam, hogy Mr Gaiman legújabb könyvének oldalán tréfás kis pályázat indult: a nevezők saját rövid sírversükkel indulhatnak, és a könyv egy példányát [...]
Brian June 26th, 2008 at 11:27 am
Brian N
1976 - 2055
Well, I certaining didn’t see that coming.
Grimur June 26th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Grimur
1982-2068
Rest, now
Brian June 26th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Brian N.
1976-2055
Like a candle snuffed out,
gone with a flicker.
We will always miss him,
But wish he would’ve moved quicker.
Brian June 26th, 2008 at 11:41 am
1976 - 1926 (Because he lived life backwards)
Good friend for Jesus sake forbeare,
To dig the dust enclosed here.
Blessed be the man that spares these stones,
And cursed be he that moves my bones.
-William Shakespeare
Bob June 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am
1976 - 2008
Here lies a man who died far too young
His story not written, his song left unsung
But really it’s not as bad as you think
As a writer and singer, he really did stink
Bob Doerksen June 26th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Bob Doerksen
1976 - 2008
Here lies a man who died far too young
His story not written, his song left unsung
But really it’s not as bad as you think
As a writer and singer, he really did stink
Nathan Tavares June 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Nathan Tavares
1985-2070
Sometime during the dash–
Between those two dates
He lived and loved.
You do the same.
Joseph Paquin June 26th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
(correction)
Here lies Joseph Paquin
1972-1994
Undone by love
And blind faith
In Humanity,
As he was in life
And now in death,
A Naive.
Kate June 26th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
1972-200**
Fully biodegradable. Please recycle.
Jeremy M W Kelly June 26th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
1978-2016
To My Son,
“Do not mourn long the passing of this life.
You have your own to give.
Remember.
Dreams are not meant to follow you through life,
They’re meant to be lived.”
Matt Blackstock June 26th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
1981-2008
Here lies Matt Blackstock
Buried,
but still breathing.
Glenn Curry June 26th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
1970 - 20xx
Ran with scissors
Jennifer Ambrose Lyford June 26th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
1982-2008
Jennifer Ambrose
Beloved Sister
First born, first in line,
Science fair: first prize;
So I decided she would be
the first of us who dies.
Jessica Ferguson June 26th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Jessica Ferguson
1989-2065
She made a lot of mistakes.
So it goes.
Mark Gunnells June 26th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Here Lies
Mark Allan Gunnells
He Certainly Hopes
God Has a Sense of Humor
Jack Waddell June 26th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Jack Waddell
1981 - 2028
Here lies Dr. Jack Waddell
with a PhD in Doom!
Tried to fit the web into his head
but found there wasn’t room.
Jack Waddell June 26th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
Jack Waddell
1981 - 2044
Spent every moment as though it were his last.
Screaming.
Jack Waddell June 26th, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Jack Waddell
1981 - 2032
Space Engineer.
Died with his boots off.
The magnetic ones.
Jeremy M W Kelly June 26th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
1978-2016
“My Son:
Do not mourn long this days passing.
And Remember,
Dreams are not meant to follow you through life.
They’re meant to be lived.”
Chall Su June 26th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Asked, whenever you were,
By the curious and willful and loved
“Who were you in Life, Sir?”
Now knowing what you meant by,
“Just see above…”
Lorna Hadley June 27th, 2008 at 1:03 am
11/21/1974-11/21/2074
she lead her life gaily
with beads and baubles and other things
alas too soon it was over
and now she hears only the beating of wings
Lorna Hadley June 27th, 2008 at 1:07 am
11/21/1974-11/21/2074
Ho Centurion,
Sit a spell,
drink some wine,
tell us of your travels
Lorna Hadley June 27th, 2008 at 1:08 am
11/21/1974-11/21/2074
If my decomposing carcass helps nourish the roots of a juniper tree or the wings of a vulture - that is immortality enough for me.
-Edward Abbey
Boris Giltburg June 27th, 2008 at 2:08 am
1984 - 20xx
Work kills.
Susanne June 27th, 2008 at 4:15 am
1975-2008
I can has bell onna string? Kthxbai.
Becca Lee June 27th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Rebecca Lee
b. 7 March, 1968
d. 15 July, 2023
Should have known better than to go in against a Sicilian.
Mary Harris June 27th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Mary Joy Harris
b. August 12th 1986 – d. December 30th 2068
She enjoyed the simple things in life,
such as breathing.
Dave Welch June 27th, 2008 at 8:32 am
You seemed nice,
sorry we didn’t get to know you better.
Michael N Benson June 27th, 2008 at 9:04 am
Michael N Benson
1978 - 2048
Now in possession of all the answers he will ever need.
Hannah Karena Jones June 27th, 2008 at 9:09 am
Hannah Karena Jones
1989-2008
Now and forever, I do dwell,
Under these skies of dark and gloom,
Galloping across the clouds of Hell,
Leading dreamers away from their doom.
Grimur June 27th, 2008 at 9:27 am
Grimur
1982-2048
Life’s but a walking shadow.
-William Shakespeare
Grimur June 27th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Here lies
Grimur Hjorleifsson
1982-2028
happily ever after
Kibrika June 27th, 2008 at 10:47 am
1986-2008
The things I held dear in my heart go on
Even though my heart itself does not
Tony Rice June 27th, 2008 at 10:57 am
Tony Rice
Born 26 November 1976
Died Unknown
As a child his was told he had big shoes to fill to follow his father, so he grew size 11 feet, hence the bump in the grave!
Megan Kniepkamp June 27th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Megan A. Kniepkamp, 1983~2082
Always wished she had more time to spend in the mud.
Priya Sridhar June 27th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Priya Sridhar
1991-2076
She was always loved, and always will be. But her fiction wasn’t published and will never be.
Naomi Bosch June 27th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Naomi Bosch
1993-20??
Lived through each stage of “women’s life”
As maiden, crone, and loving wife
But harken, for this stone speaks true -
She kept free mind and spirit, too
Amy Berne June 27th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
1977 - 2007
Smeg happens.
Elizabeth June 27th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
March 23rd 1985- March 23rd 2062
Nothing worth repeating,
still in my heart to say.
Bobbee Lyn Gerson June 27th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
1958 - 2058
Time Flies When
You Don’t Know What The Hell You’re Doing
Sandra June 27th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
She loved. And that’s the important part.
Diogo Campos June 27th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
1988-2008
To win a book he strived too much his head
Found his death on the road instead
PS-Pay attention to both sides of the road!
Andrew Schlueter June 27th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
1984-2008
He had the right-of-way.
Denty June 27th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Here lies the Paladin Denty
Who loved to play games aplenty.
To stay alive,
She rolled a five,
but her attacker a natural twenty.
david G bryant June 27th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
A Boys 1975-2075
Gay man and cat lover. This fragile thing gave up the shadow and returned to stardust. His last breath ‘never’. where he’s found, our dreams.
Invalid Entry June 27th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
This, our world is a simulation
And I have learned a hack.
Respawning soon at this location…
Thus I quote: “I’ll be back!”
Filename: Invalid Entry
File created: Data mismatch error
File deleted: Data mismatch error
The executable will now restart.
Hannah S. June 27th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Here lies Hannah. Hellraiser and kind to kittens. Thank God she’s dead.
Rach A. June 28th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Rachel Arthur
1990-2001
Mum: I didn’t really break your favourite vase. It was Hugo.
Hugo: See you soon, buddy!
Rodrigo Cerqueira Lopes June 28th, 2008 at 2:45 am
RCL
1982 - 20??
three kisses from a love he never had;
two dimes for his eyes he used to stare;
one song to him to whisper while he waits;
no words anymore, as life goes on, until the end.
H. Shope June 28th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Here lies Hannah.
1980-2020
Rocked the world with her guitar.
Died in resulting landslide
Stephanie LT June 28th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
Stephanie,
Remains a pursuer of absolute truth, reminds,
This marker does not prove she was ever here.
Shana Jean June 28th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Shana Jean Hausman
1990-2008
Please keep off the grass.
Matt Board June 28th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
This is Matthew’s epitaph.
He’ll fix it in the next draft.
Lisa Knight June 28th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Born 23rd November 1973
Died 21st June 2068
Here lie the bones of Lisa Knight,
She saw a ghost and died of fright.
In her fright she gave a scream,
And fell into death’s darkening dream.
They say her scream can still be heard,
After dark, where she’s interred.
Inside the sound the dreamers dwell,
Until this story’s yours to tell.
Shana Jean June 28th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Shana Jean Hausman
1990-2073
Forgotten, but not gone.
Andrea Z June 28th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
Andrea M. Zander
1974 - 2079
They lived in my head,
But now that I’m dead
They live in my books
And haunt you instead
Andrea Z June 28th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Andrea M. Zander
1974 - 2079
Disturb this grave, and the rabbits *will* find you.
Jeffrey June 29th, 2008 at 4:36 am
Father of Horror
known to craven and sorrow
who himself in an object of lore
shall be lifted - Nevermore
Andrew June 29th, 2008 at 9:32 am
1984-2008
You should see the other guy…
Aisling June 29th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Aisling L. Cooke
1992-2008
To those who want to find out what happens next:
Run around the graveyard three times anticlockwise next Halloween. Bring a shovel.
Mary Halton June 29th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Mary
1988-2012
2057-2059
Hard wearing burial shoes: £60
Radiation resistant gravestone coating: £300
Zombie apocalypse: Priceless.
Bekki June 29th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Bekki
1982-2079
If death is a return
to the earth, let it be
a September garden:
one last golden
apple,
hanging,
low and ripe on the tree.
Steve Buchheit June 29th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Stephen Buchheit
1966 - 2008
In Memoriam
I’m not here
Chris Barra June 29th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
No shirt, no shoes, no heartbeat.
Chris Bellone June 30th, 2008 at 4:25 am
Christopher John Bellone III
Here he lies, finally interred
Miracle of flesh, bones, body and blood
Now buried humbly under so much mud
1987-2008
Stephanie Gray June 30th, 2008 at 5:18 am
(Arrow pointing up)
I’m with stupid.
Karl June 30th, 2008 at 5:34 am
Karl Beidatsch
1981 - 2030
Should’ve listened to his mother.
Rach A. June 30th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Rachel Arthur
1990-2021
The first hint is the steely eyes. The second is the name badge that reads ‘Welcome to Serial Killers Ltd. Jack the Ripper at your service.’
Anna June 30th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Anna Sophia Sweers
06-04-1989 - 18-05-2100
First you live. Then you die.
There is nothing to be afraid of.
-Nils (du&du&du, Per Nilson)
Ignorant living!
(scribbeled in my handwriting)
(headstone is crooked, grave is empty.)
A. "Doni" Hardy June 30th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Doni Hardy
1986 - 2007
No one told her why
You shouldn’t try
The things you read in books.
Chris Barra June 30th, 2008 at 11:46 am
Chris Barra
1964-2078
I’d like a second opinion.
Victoria Elliott June 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
An incurable optimist: she saw the glass as half-full and drank it. It was strychnine, providing the incurable part.
Emily Hale June 30th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Dedicated performance artist:
blew herself up mid-parachute jump.
Buried where she fell according to directions.
(Number 16 in a limited edition of 473: left arm)
Brook June 30th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Okay, I’ve got a lot of these, and I blame everyone who posted here for being so creative. If you can only submit one, I want my first one to be considered. The rest can just entertain people:
Brook Kuhn 1980 - 2008
Brook was an agnostic
Uncertain till the end
His questions might now be answered, though
As he peers around the bend
Brook Kuhn 1980 - 2008
Buried here in 6 silver coffins
With a crossroads overhead
Brook didn’t have know any sorcerers
but better safe than undead
Brook Kuhn 1980 - 2008
A punctual man, always on time.
So it’s a sad twist of fate.
Arrived early to witness a crime,
Now he’ll always be late.
Brook Kuhn 1980 - 2008
if (brook.isBreathing == false)
delete brook;
else
brook.suffocate(timeElapsed);
Brook Kuhn 1980 - 2008
Oh shi-
Owen Kuhn June 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Like the one above, I came up with several. If I can only have one, than please take the first.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
Owen raced a trainline
To achieve his fate
His date was at nine
But now he’ll be - I’m sorry,this pun is done to death!
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
Here lies a writer to the end
He loved the turn of a word.
Shouldn’t have asked his literal friend
To help him fall on his sword.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008 (2010)
This grave a body does lack.
For a zombie was created.
We cut his head off with an axe.
And decided he should be cremated.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
Here lies Owen beloved master
Of Laz and Hunter, his kitters.
Until they found someone faster
At replacing their kitty litters.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
Owen Kuhn was a Get Smart Watcher
Bad combination - Shoe phones and water
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
Owen loved to laugh each day
Unfortunately this gave his position away.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
If you are reading this
My brothers should be berated
For it was my dying wish
That I should be cremated.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2008
Here he lies, he loved to fight
Dodged to the left instead of right.
Owen Kuhn 1980-2265
A scientist so obsessed
his life he didn’t want to give
Spent so much time cheating death
That he forgot to go out and live.
'tricia mastricolo June 30th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
‘tricia mastricolo
1983 - 2008
Ill-Equipped for Reality
Caitlin Baird June 30th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
B. 1984 D. 2087
Here lies senilic Grandmother Baird
A parsimonious Scot to the core
“Of my body,” she said
“You must sell what you can,
and the rest you should give to the poor.”
Caitlin Baird June 30th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
And edited for contest entry: (sorry)
B. 1984 D. 2087
A parsimonious Scot to the core
“Of my body,” she said
“Sell what you can,
and the rest shall go to the poor.”
Elizabeth Sanchez June 30th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
March 23rd 1985 — October 31st 2077
Destiny always wins.
Emily June 30th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Emily
1992-2008
Very Much Dead
Juliette Williams June 30th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
hocusing, pocusing
magical mutterings
uttered mistakenly in dark’ning light
caused her to mix up a
somewhat unfortunate potion,
extinguishing morn, noon and night.
Rustbeard June 30th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
I don’t actually expect to win with this since its a quote, but I thought it was good to share it here.
Rustbeard
1900-2100
“Confusion will be my epitaph.”
-King Crimson
Robinowitz July 1st, 2008 at 2:10 am
Here lies a clever dude,
Who tarried about in the nude.
But penchant for drink,
Ended him in the clink,
And skin darkened by electrode.
Elizabeth Levin July 1st, 2008 at 3:32 am
Elizabeth Levin
1990-2008
She’ll get back to you on that question.
Marcel Campbell July 1st, 2008 at 3:47 am
1980 - 2008
Her husband will be missed.
Can’t say the same about her.
Marcel Campbell July 1st, 2008 at 3:49 am
1980 - 2008
Marcel
Always baked, boiled and
Roasted for others
Cheerfully. A pity she never
Ever fed her
Life
(Note the first letter of each line)
Ashley Rechten July 1st, 2008 at 4:09 am
Ashley
1985 - 2008
“So I guess this is it”
Said her ghost with a grin,
“Thought I threw the grenade,
I guess I threw the pin.”
Tina Reece July 1st, 2008 at 5:25 am
Died tragically saving the world.
Rob Young July 1st, 2008 at 9:33 am
Here lies Dad,
A gambler true,
His vice the dice, cards and booze.
Alas, our family fortune be gone,
The last on this wooden tombstone.
Yael Fine July 1st, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Can finally read uninterrupted.
Yael Fine July 1st, 2008 at 3:03 pm
1991-2091
Can finally read uninterrupted.
(sorry. forgot my dates.)
Bob Doerksen July 1st, 2008 at 4:38 pm
1976-2008
Death is but a doorway
That one must walk through
I’m afraid to go alone
So I think I’ll take you
Manuel Vilaça July 1st, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Manuel Vilaça
1959-20??
Death is a liar! Promised to
Take me down to the paradise city
But
I’m on the highway to hell
david G bryant July 2nd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
not that i expect to have won but i gave the wrong email address on my entry…i put an extra L in gmail….just thought i would let you know…just on the off chance
Delia July 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Delia Remington
1970-2008
Those shoes really were to die for.
Scott July 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Scott Gronewold
1975-2025
Afraid of the dark
and afraid of sharks
a pity for him
to be in both now
Corinne B. July 2nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
C E B
1992-
still alive
we just got bored
Corinne B. July 2nd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
C E B
1992-2150
she loved life
and all its lessons
and now awaits to learn a few more
“see you in the next life!”
RoyaSpirit July 2nd, 2008 at 10:31 pm
Roya Spirit
1959-2012
Lived without fear
Loved without caution
Sold her soul
On an eBay auction
RoyaSpirit July 2nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Rajin Agin
1959-1999
…
Party over
Out of time
Darrin English July 3rd, 2008 at 10:45 am
Darrin English
1965-2065
Worms for Sale.
Mary Fiala July 3rd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
You were cookies and milk
I was honey on buttered bread
We were paradise together
Only for this I regret that I’m dead.
(For Scott G., who, if eaten by a shark at 50 will, upon regurgitation, subsequently have his remaining bits sent to a taxidermist so that I can give him the “what for” face to face for the remaining months of my life.)
Pernilla Leijonhufvud July 6th, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Pernilla Leijonhufvud
1966-2066
It’s the end of the world as she knew it.
Digs July 7th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Digs
1974 - 2008
Lived fast.
Died young.
Would have had
a good-looking corpse
if he hadn’t got himself
blown up to smithereens.
Douglas Emerson July 10th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Here lies Douglas in repose
In death his music’s legend grows
So bend an ear - but hold your nose! -
And listen to him decompose.
Douglas Emerson July 10th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Douglas Emerson
1643 - 2008
About bloody time.
Montgomery Loftus July 13th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Death has a really good poker face.
NivePype August 2nd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
It’s amazing
Barrett August 9th, 2008 at 4:34 am
free your body and soul
unfold your powerful wings
climb up the highest mountains
kick your feet up in the air
you may now live forever
or return to this earth
unless youre happy where you are.
{Read the first letter of every word}
Par August 13th, 2008 at 9:41 am
killall -u par
Par August 13th, 2008 at 9:42 am
And now he really knows if the grass is greener on the other side.
Barry October 7th, 2008 at 11:22 am
To Koa cum cgo
transfix & air
char rot n roll
beside grownd bare
Amanda December 9th, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Here lies my love
Who celebrated life
Instead of fearing death
She’s waiting for me
With a Guinness in her hand.
Ladies Drunk August 4th, 2009 at 1:15 am
mm.. love it